Open Up!

So last weekend I was going through some of my old stuff. And then I found a memory card. I even had forgotten about it. It belonged to my first Nokia Phone, during my 11th std. And my curiosity just shot up to sky. It's almost 6 years, for that memory card. And I wanted to know what hidden treasure it had, So I plug it in my laptop, and now I'm going through each and every folder.  I found pics of myself with no mustache and beard,where I look way too young. I found some educational videos, I borrowed from some friend, though I don't recall studying through them, Lolz. Few flash games, Java applications for that old phone. But the folder which engaged me the most was the music folder. It was as if somebody gave me collage of all memories from those days. As each photograph relates to some distinct memory, in similar way each song I played found relation to some emotions and feelings. A couple of songs related to the Exam Fears, as these were the songs I...

So if you know me, you know how much crazy I'm for rain. So when it started raining, my thoughts started blooming. So I am writing again, First Rain. Last year the rain arrived in March only, but this year it is almost mid May. The longer the wait, the stronger the Impact. So I'm in office, listening to my senior telling something about some useless Code (Computer Program, hope u get that), and I'm completely bored. And all of a sudden a thunder roars, and then another, they just keep on going. And I am all cheered up again, running to lift, to reach the ground floor, to reach the open space, to reach the drops from heaven, to reach the life I used to live. And when the drops from heaven hit me, it's just bliss. I forget that I still have couple of hours to work, I forget that the Saturday isn't off this weekend, I forget that there is a pile of tasks to be done once I get home, I just forget. I become invincible to all worries in the world, as this ...

They say memories are like curse. They make you feel the pain, again and again. And that's partially true. A sweet moment happened in past, makes you smile, but the realization that it won't happen again makes you sad as well. Its like that cup of tea which is half filled. So I have this memory. Not memory exactly, rather a feeling. A feeling, which makes me happy. This feeling appears on my doorstep, when it is about to rain. So when the sky is darkly clouded, the heat is cooling down, and no one is missing the sun. I miss that 'Beep' sound on my phone. Cause it used to beep continuously at such times. I miss that crazy screaming on call, when first few drops from sky took a dive. How can I forget the never ending wish to eat ice cream during rain.   The timeless calls at window, the nigh chats, and the promises. The Promise to be forever, the promise to have faith, the promise to never betray, the promise no never go away. Those rains were witnesses. That at...

So apparently my office is located outside city. And the building is located in hilly area. My team mates say, it would look awesome during rains. But it isn't rained yet. So most of these hills are barren. Just appear full with dry grasses, not a very good view to look around. But there is this tree. A single tree, on the top of the hill. A tree I look at, everyday. It keeps me amazed, what keeps it green, what keeps it different than its surrounding. I see it after lunch, I see it in the evening, I even see it whenever I need a break. It soothes my mind, for no reason. And I keep planning to visit it one day. I plan to come in the early morning with trekking shoes, and start climbing the hill. It would barely take half an hour to reach it. But I'm planning from almost three months. 'Will it happen?', I ask myself.     In life, sometimes it happens that you see something. And you just know, it is kind of thing that suits you, it is meant for you. I feel the s...

And this time it is deodorant. It has to be something every time. Last time it was towel. May be some unconscious part of me make sure that I forget at least one item, when I leave from home. Just to keep traces of my existence. Days feels like seconds when you go home for vacation. The moment of arrival arrives with moment of departure. You know that you have got exactly 96 hours. And you have to make sure that you grab enough love before leaving to ruthless city again. That scares me off. What if I don't get enough, what if I get homesick before next trip to home. But all anyone could do is hope, the most addictive drug. And the court down begins. First a warm hug from your brother, then priceless smiles of caring mother and proud father. A heavy snacks at uncle's place, a surprise visit to your bestie cousin, and you look up to god, and thank him for a wonderful family. But is family everything? It is very important, and yet incomplete without frien...

We all have pressure cooker whistles. Mine is my bike. And I start driving. Aimlessly. A drive I didn't plan. A ride which I don't know where leads. I just want to drive. Me, my pulsar, and the path. The deadliest combination. Cause I need to get lost. In places where I might find peace. I don't know if I'm driving the bike, or the bike's driving me. But it doesn't matter. Unless and until I'm moving. I just need to keep moving. I need the phase of transit. It is better than reaching at a point. as that point could make you happy or sad. I just don't want to know whether I will be happy or sad. I don't want to know what pain is, or what happiness could mean.  I just want to drive. The tunnel is my favorite part of the road. It makes you feel as if you are playing road rash. I always loved to play this game. So I keep accelerating. The speed goes up and up and up. I don't want to stop. But I forget that there is no race. and I have only ...

There are days when you are full of energy. Full of enthusiasm, like the best version of yourself. But apparently not all days are meant for you to be happy. I am talking about the days when we feel 'Why even I woke up today?' , The days when we start questioning the very abilities we posses, the days when every thing you try fix goes on getting worse. I hope everybody has these days, And I had such a day recently. With every failure of the day I try to keep myself up by saying 'Chill, this is not a big deal'. And these not so big deals start pilling up on each other. At mid day I am succumbed under the pressure of such mountain of Big deals. And then I just give up. I just give up the hope that something might cheer me up in this very day. Very opposite of my nature, yet these shadows of negative energy cause me feel like a loser. You avoid people you care. You ignore doing important things, just cause you are afraid that even they will get fucked up. Y...