Open Up!

So he was sitting in the cafe, watching out of that glass door. Though the view he was watching was the same one he watched yesterday, and the day before. And the month before. But this time he wasn't looking though the door. He was looking at the door.  He always knew that the kinda life he is looking for is way too difficult to achieve in this safe house. Where the food menu repeated itself within the week. Where all conversations ended up in gossips, Where nobody truly respected anybody. Here people came for fetching money from a well, and always ended up drowning instead.  "Hows's the weekend?", Somebody asked him, and he gave the typical answer, as expected. The life was encapsulated in five days, with a sugar coating of weekdays. But apparently this medicine was not at all good for health. Rather it was making him lazy, and was taking him away from his pyramids.  The pyramids, he was thinking about them for a while. They were his dreams, to r

So last weekend I was going through some of my old stuff. And then I found a memory card. I even had forgotten about it. It belonged to my first Nokia Phone, during my 11th std. And my curiosity just shot up to sky. It's almost 6 years, for that memory card. And I wanted to know what hidden treasure it had, So I plug it in my laptop, and now I'm going through each and every folder.  I found pics of myself with no mustache and beard,where I look way too young. I found some educational videos, I borrowed from some friend, though I don't recall studying through them, Lolz. Few flash games, Java applications for that old phone. But the folder which engaged me the most was the music folder. It was as if somebody gave me collage of all memories from those days. As each photograph relates to some distinct memory, in similar way each song I played found relation to some emotions and feelings. A couple of songs related to the Exam Fears, as these were the songs I

So if you know me, you know how much crazy I'm for rain. So when it started raining, my thoughts started blooming. So I am writing again, First Rain. Last year the rain arrived in March only, but this year it is almost mid May. The longer the wait, the stronger the Impact. So I'm in office, listening to my senior telling something about some useless Code (Computer Program, hope u get that), and I'm completely bored. And all of a sudden a thunder roars, and then another, they just keep on going. And I am all cheered up again, running to lift, to reach the ground floor, to reach the open space, to reach the drops from heaven, to reach the life I used to live. And when the drops from heaven hit me, it's just bliss. I forget that I still have couple of hours to work, I forget that the Saturday isn't off this weekend, I forget that there is a pile of tasks to be done once I get home, I just forget. I become invincible to all worries in the world, as this

They say memories are like curse. They make you feel the pain, again and again. And that's partially true. A sweet moment happened in past, makes you smile, but the realization that it won't happen again makes you sad as well. Its like that cup of tea which is half filled. So I have this memory. Not memory exactly, rather a feeling. A feeling, which makes me happy. This feeling appears on my doorstep, when it is about to rain. So when the sky is darkly clouded, the heat is cooling down, and no one is missing the sun. I miss that 'Beep' sound on my phone. Cause it used to beep continuously at such times. I miss that crazy screaming on call, when first few drops from sky took a dive. How can I forget the never ending wish to eat ice cream during rain.   The timeless calls at window, the nigh chats, and the promises. The Promise to be forever, the promise to have faith, the promise to never betray, the promise no never go away. Those rains were witnesses. That at

So apparently my office is located outside city. And the building is located in hilly area. My team mates say, it would look awesome during rains. But it isn't rained yet. So most of these hills are barren. Just appear full with dry grasses, not a very good view to look around. But there is this tree. A single tree, on the top of the hill. A tree I look at, everyday. It keeps me amazed, what keeps it green, what keeps it different than its surrounding. I see it after lunch, I see it in the evening, I even see it whenever I need a break. It soothes my mind, for no reason. And I keep planning to visit it one day. I plan to come in the early morning with trekking shoes, and start climbing the hill. It would barely take half an hour to reach it. But I'm planning from almost three months. 'Will it happen?', I ask myself.     In life, sometimes it happens that you see something. And you just know, it is kind of thing that suits you, it is meant for you. I feel the s

And this time it is deodorant. It has to be something every time. Last time it was towel. May be some unconscious part of me make sure that I forget at least one item, when I leave from home. Just to keep traces of my existence. Days feels like seconds when you go home for vacation. The moment of arrival arrives with moment of departure. You know that you have got exactly 96 hours. And you have to make sure that you grab enough love before leaving to ruthless city again. That scares me off. What if I don't get enough, what if I get homesick before next trip to home. But all anyone could do is hope, the most addictive drug. And the court down begins. First a warm hug from your brother, then priceless smiles of caring mother and proud father. A heavy snacks at uncle's place, a surprise visit to your bestie cousin, and you look up to god, and thank him for a wonderful family. But is family everything? It is very important, and yet incomplete without frien

We all have pressure cooker whistles. Mine is my bike. And I start driving. Aimlessly. A drive I didn't plan. A ride which I don't know where leads. I just want to drive. Me, my pulsar, and the path. The deadliest combination. Cause I need to get lost. In places where I might find peace. I don't know if I'm driving the bike, or the bike's driving me. But it doesn't matter. Unless and until I'm moving. I just need to keep moving. I need the phase of transit. It is better than reaching at a point. as that point could make you happy or sad. I just don't want to know whether I will be happy or sad. I don't want to know what pain is, or what happiness could mean.  I just want to drive. The tunnel is my favorite part of the road. It makes you feel as if you are playing road rash. I always loved to play this game. So I keep accelerating. The speed goes up and up and up. I don't want to stop. But I forget that there is no race. and I have only

There are days when you are full of energy. Full of enthusiasm, like the best version of yourself. But apparently not all days are meant for you to be happy. I am talking about the days when we feel 'Why even I woke up today?' , The days when we start questioning the very abilities we posses, the days when every thing you try fix goes on getting worse. I hope everybody has these days, And I had such a day recently. With every failure of the day I try to keep myself up by saying 'Chill, this is not a big deal'. And these not so big deals start pilling up on each other. At mid day I am succumbed under the pressure of such mountain of Big deals. And then I just give up. I just give up the hope that something might cheer me up in this very day. Very opposite of my nature, yet these shadows of negative energy cause me feel like a loser. You avoid people you care. You ignore doing important things, just cause you are afraid that even they will get fucked up. Y

The mountain kept burning under the beautiful night sky. A sky with one bright star. As if the mountain was reflecting the light this loner has. And all people could see is the fire. but that is not what I see from this high floor. All I see is smoke. Weird isn't it? These dark waves of smoke attract more attention than the brighter flames. And I keep on watching. Even when the fire is out, the smoke keeps on going. Higher and higher. The kind of  height I only can imagine. But as the smoke grows more and more, the sky gets clouded. There is no more beautiful sky. There is no more bright star. There is just pure darkness. And now the smoke is less attractive, rather it is intimidating. But there is always something you cannot predict. the Wind. The wind is too strong. It is going to make smoke fade out. But there is a possibility that it might ignite the sleeping fire. but it doesn't happen. the wind clears the sky within small span of time. The hours of wrong doing is clear

One of the things about life is that it makes us 'Choose'. Even starting from cloths in the morning, to the big decisions like selecting right college, and many more important than that. And I believe these options create confusions. Lesser the options, lesser the complications in life. So Talking about 'Choices', they make our lives hell. Problems even become bigger if you are mature enough to analyse each and every aspect of the choices you have. Like they say, 'Ignorance is Bliss'.   So once in a life time we all get one such situation, where there is no right solution. All choices lead to different results, but neither of the results are satisfying. You keep on doing 'Pros & Cons' list. and at the end you are still confused. And that's where a quote from 'Man of Steel' starts making sense. Sometimes you have to take a leap of Faith first,                                                The trust part comes later. But w

A shield is used by everyone. To protect our space. To keep away unknown people and known people as well. Everyone is holding this shield tight, as we are always afraid of getting hurt. For me as well that is worse feeling than actually getting hurt. The feeling which makes you feel that you are vulnerable to anything. So I keep my shield close. Keeping all at a safe distance. But is that a right way of living? Even I don't think so. Cause we all are hungry for love and warmth, a hug, a special touch, a personal meaningful conversation. So we keep looking for such people around us, with whom we would not require to use shield. We all need, at some point of life, a halt. Nobody can run forever. And then we make the mistake. We think the person with whom we are getting closer is having mutual feeling. We forget that we are Armless. We forget that we are getting vulnerable to getting hurt again. We forget that we have let our guards down.

Few experiences tell u that there are always two sides of mirror. Yeah. Not coin but mirror. The way u see yourself, and the way others see YOU from the other side of mirror. And then comes the conflict. Who is right? You have your own perception of yourself and so does the other person. Once the argument begins between these two, there is no right and wrong. There are just images , and understandings, versions. Cause people can't be calculated, people don't come in black and white, they always come in shades of Grey. The question arises when the argument reaches to peak. What should be done? Should you defend yourself for proving that your version is the real one? Or You should just move away from the mirror? obviously the second way is the easiest one. its always easy to walk away, ain't it? So that's what we all do. We move on. But will it end there? Think again. Cause there will be this ghost, this another version. Can you run away from it? Or will it Keep

A boat. I feel it as my boat. But I am not sure. And yet I'm traveling within it. A journey I don't know. A journey without destination. Confusing right? So am I. And there is this thing while surfing this boat. Making me confused more than ever. Let me try to explain. After every once in a while, our boat is supposed to have a stop on an island. It's always a pleasant visit. So after 1st island, I kept looking for the next stop, next island. And that thought kept me energized during the journey. The hope to see the land. So I counted days, hours, even minutes. You won't believe what happened next. I was surprised to find myself restless to aboard the boat again, the moment I landed. Strange isn't it? When I'm on the boat, I wanna be on land, and when I'm on land, I am dying to be on the boat. It's like as if I'm torn between two places, yet I can't find peace at any one place. I can't have both, but I do need both. These